“I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.”
“Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.”
“I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.”
“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”
“I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.”
“I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.”
“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”
“I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.”
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?
The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn.
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo.
“On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.”
“I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.”
“I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight”
Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: “I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.”